Part 3 of Cz Amazing Story in dramatic form!

Svejk jerks gun down, Jorma runs towards them, pulls out gun, Svejk and Mrs. Mullerova continue to struggle.

Svejk: Why, Mrs. Mullerova, why! After all these years!

Jorma: Give up, Mrs. Mullerova! We’ll let you go!

Mrs. Mullerova continues to struggle with less conviction, pauses and gives up, collapses in tears, Svejk throws gun away, kneels beside her.

Svejk: Why are you crying? We promised we wouldn’t kill you, and we weren’t lying!

Mrs Mullerova: But I tried to kill you! I deserve to die!
Shaking her head, mumbles tearfully: I should have said no, I should have said no…

Jorma: Grunts: What are you talking about?

Mrs Mullerova: Hysterically: The Mafia! They forced me, I had no choice! They said they’d kill my family if I didn’t do as they said!
Turning to Svejk: They told me all I had to do was keep you calm, under control, stop you from causing trouble… they only gave me the gun ‘as a precaution’ they said. Nothing would happen, they were just covering every chance, and it would all be over soon… And then this afternoon, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do! Please, sir, I didn’t know what to do, please understand…
Gasping: My family…

Mrs. Mullerova sobs loudly

Svejk: Ok, Mrs. Mullerova. It’s all ok. We understand. We won’t hurt you, we’re going now. You’ll be ok.
Stands up: Come on, Mr. Påtter. We have to go.

Mrs Mullerova: No.
Others turn in surprise: No.

Svejk: Why not, Mrs. Mullerova?

Mrs Mullerova: Because the mafia weren’t lying, Svejk, and you’re not dead…

Lunges for him, scene closes.


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Open new scene, Svejk and Jorma asleep on floor in sleeping bags, Svejk having nightmare & moaning, wakes up gasping, Jorma also wakes.


Jorma: What’s wrong?

Svejk: I had a nightmare… about Ms Mullerova. I don’t want to think about it.

Jorma: Fine. We have to go soon anyway, good thing you woke us up.
Leaves stage, muttering: All the same, I wouldn’t have complained about another 10 minutes…

Svejk: How far will we get today?

Jorma re-enters stage carrying large bag, starts putting sleeping bags into it.


Jorma: To Paris. We’ll take the eurostar overnight and be in London late tonight. It’ll be safe to book a hotel room there; the Mafia aren’t as bad there as they are here. We’ll be able to find someone neutral who can get us weapons and…

Svejk looks aghast, interrupts in incredulous voice.


Svejk: Weapons? No-one said anything about weapons!

Jorma: Svejk, do you honestly think The Mafia, of all people, are going to be O.K. with us snooping around investigating them? We’re not even official! We need to protect ourselves! Otherwise we’ll never se the light of day again, let alone the truth!

Svejk: Well… if you’re sure… what about Irina? When do we see her?

Jorma: As soon as we’ve got the guns. Svejk gasps, Jorma holds up his hand: I know you don’t believe me on this, Svejk, but Irina is one of them, and she’ll be just as eager to kill you as Ms Mullerova was…

Svejk: Angrily: Don’t say her name!

Calms down, continues.


Svejk: Alright. We’ll do it. But I’m warning you, if I have to kill someone just because they’re in the wrong bunch, even if they don’t want to be, I’m out. If it comes to it, I’ll get myself killed. Butt I won’t kill innocent people.

Jorma pauses before replying.


Jorma: Ok. I don’t blame you for those conditions, so I can live with that much. But if you try saving someone in the mafia, I’ll stop you. You can walk away, but you won’t get in my way. But if it comes to it, I hope you’ll be brave and stick with me. Now lets get going…

Sequel 1- FIN - Better late than never – Parempi myöhään kuin ei milloinkaan.

..came to his table and came to talk to him with a Finnish accent. “Hello you handsome fellow. I think we need to talk, please follow me to the frontyard.” Svejk looked very suspicious, but decided to follow the odd man. They left their table and started to walk towards to the door. “What is this? Who are you? What’s happening?” Svejk’s tone was very nervous. The mysterious man looked Svejk from the corner of his eye and answered. “My name is Påtter, Jorma Påtter. I’m a Finnish reward hunter, and I need you to help me to find out who killed Archduke d’Este and why. I know you once were a great soldier and only you can help me.” “Why me? I’m old and in bad shape and I have rheumatism. I don’t think I’ll be able to run after criminals at this age.” “No one else can help me. I have my suspicions about the murderer, it’s someone you’ve been involved with years ago, but I can’t tell you her identity yet, not until I’m sure of it. So what will it be, will you follow me?” “Not until I know more. Who do you suspect then? And where do I know her from?” “She’s an old friend of yours, she got involved with the Italian mafia and she was forced to murder the archduke. I need you to get in touch with her and defeat the Mafia.” “Who is she then?” Svejk asked. “Her name is Irina Korsakov.” Svejk looked dumbstruck, Irina was his childhood friend, he couldn’t have ever imagined that Irina would join the mafia. She had been such a sweet girl. This, however, was the case and so Svejk answered: “I’ll join you. What do you want me to do?” “I want you to lure her out of her hiding. Call her and ask her to meet you in London. She’s our only link to the mafia, we can’t afford to lose her. I must go now, I’ll contact you very soon.” Jorma said and started to run for a black taxi which was waiting for him.

Svejk walked back home. He asked Mrs. Mullerova to come with him to the nearest telephone booth. So, they left for the street and Mrs. Mullerova started to ask him what was going on. Svejk told her about the mysterious man and Irina. Mrs. Mullerova didn’t look very surprised. Svejk was just about to ask if she knew anything, when she pulled out a gun and told Svejk to stay quiet and continue walking. There was no one on the street. Soon Mrs. Mullerova pushed Svejk to an alleyway and pushed the gun into his stomach. Mullerova was pretty strong for a middle aged woman. “What is this? You have been such a loyal housekeeper for so many years!” “Yes, I know that....” ,but she didn't have time to end her sentence because she noticed that someone was running towards them. Svejk recognized the person as Jorma. He had probably been following them all along. Svejk heard that familiar Finnish accent again: “Mrs. Mullerova, or whoever you are, put that gun into ground and kick it away.” She looked at Jorma into his eyes and still held that gun on Svejk. Svejk saw Mrs. Mullerova's hand was holding the gun tighter and it seemed like she didn't want to surrender. Quickly, Svejk put his hands onto the gun and....

Good soldier Svejk

Killing two birds with one stone.

Zabít dvě mouchy jednou ranou.

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Svejk, ex-serviceman from war years ago was sleeping in a bed when somebody knocked on his door. It was Mrs. Mullerova, his housekeeper.

„You have to wake up, it is nearly afternoon“ said Mrs. Mullerova.

She helped Svejk to stand up from bed. He has got rheumatiz so he has got problems with it. They were talking to each other and suddenly Mrs. Mullerova said:

„You know what, archduke was shot. Neighbour told it to me. It was in Sarajevo. He was sitting in his car and…“

„Archduke d´Este?“ asked Svejk, „It is bad too bad Mrs. Mullerova. I will go to the pub to find out the true.“

On his way to the pub he bought a newspaper with information about d´Este´s death, but nobody talked about this. It was in time when our country was part of Austria-Hungary. There were lots of men – squeakers. They inform about „bad“ talking about our emperor of Austria – Hungary.

Svejk was sitting in a pub, drunk a beer and smoked from his nice tobacco pipe.

„One more beer, “ ordered Svejk and friends around the table asked him: „Why are you drinking so much this day?

„I am so sad because of death of archduke,“ said Svejk with excessive sadness. „It is a shame, he could be a good emperor“ …sighed.

„I knew one man from Pilsen, Vodrazka was his name. He had got a big farm with lots of pigs. If he would not be dead, he would be also great at pig breeding…“

After these words a strange man sitting in the corner and listening him all the time stand up and …